Whose fault is this? Is the woman supposed to be coerced into doing what she doesn't want to do? The man wants some spice in his relationship;the woman isn't seeing it that way.What should he do? He's an attractive young man and I'm a single Corp member who needs money to support allawee,what do I do? *Covers face*
Cont'd...
Sweetie, how are you today?'
'Please, call me by my name. Good day'
'Easy now...why are you being harsh? Am sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday, I was very busy. Interestingly,I missed you'
'Hmmmmm'
'I'm still on your case o, pretty lady. Please accede to my request now....abeg ('Pidgin english' for please). Where are you? I'd come for you-let's hook up, babe.
'No! Go and make your marriage work with the help of God. The marriage bed should remain undefiled. God hates adultery and He can make your marriage work if you are willing to make it work'
'Funmi darling, I'm not leaving my wife-I'm a believer and I won't do that; but I'm a man and I need to fulfill my manly desires. Its not solely about sex, if that's what you think. It is about good sex and also companionship the way I enjoy it'
'You know what? You are looking for solutions where they don't exist. If your wife can't satisfy you, who says I can? You just might end up jumping from woman to woman looking for what God can help work out in your wife.
If you are truly a believer and you love God, you'll want to please Him at the expense of your fleshy desires. Marriage is a life-long contract and you have to do all you can to make it work. However,I wish your wife had someone who could speak to her about the consequences of taking your needs for granted. Both of you can't be wrong, so be the right one'
'Funmi, now you are making me love you even more. You are so intelligent'
'Mr Lanre, please think about all I've said. The Lord would help you'
'Funmi, it's your help I want-there's a reason you came my way'
I was off!
I had made my decision. 'What God has joined together, let NO man put asunder (not Funmi, not anybody). If I acceded, I would be sinning against God and doing myself no good either. I'd be dating a married man for his money or for pleasure from an 'experienced' man (one of the deceits of married men to single ladies) and at the same time, dating a man I wish to marry (two-timing) and think God won't fight for 'my fiance' some day? Either he finds out and I lose in both ways or someone does same with my husband in future...to say the least. Lanre had to make a decision, but his wife was totally in the dark.
This is what I'd have told the wife if I could. Let me paint a scenario, just as I have been doing (modifying our conversation because I'm sure you realize I couldn't have gone to fish out my conversation with 'Lanre' from facebook, but I remember the entire idea of the conversation) *wide smiles*
'Hello. Is this Mr Lanre's wife?'
'Yes please. Who's speaking please?'
'Never mind. I'd like to speak to you about your husband. Ma, girls are not smiling ooo, they are looking for 'stray' men seriously. You know what the Bible says about seven women fighting over one man for attention? It's true ooo. If you are then lucky to have one man, you should keep him.
I'm not saying you need to do anything bizarre, but this man is your husband and you agreed to marry him, why then won't you keep him happy? While courting, you must have noticed some of his tendencies, yet you married him. If he wants romance, I don't think that's too difficult to give.
If you were a single old lady and a man's criterion for marrying you was romance, my sister-you'd jump at it; but because he's yours (you think he is) you take him for granted and use him to satisfy your financial needs among other needs, but refuse to satisfy his own needs. If he's not satisfying your needs either, communicate with him-let him know! 'A wise woman builds her home, a foolish one (NOT YOU O) pulls it down with her own hands'
I'm not justifying cheating, but even a born again christian gets tempted, let alone a man who is probably a struggling christian. My sister, wake up. Wear 'hot' clothing for him at home and 'scatter' his head (HE'S YOUR HUSBAND ke) Show him you are a lion in the bedroom, yet a lamb in church. Loosen up, come out of your shell; go out with him and if you don't like the places he chooses, you can suggest equally interesting places that you feel more comfortable visiting. See, let me tell you- your husband is attractive o, if not for Jesus- I'd have dated him. He probably has money too sef- which makes it better.
Please, keep your home. Listen to your husband's complaints please- they are not mere naggings o, they can produce bad fruits! If you are a naturally conservative/ shy/ quiet/ introverted person and it's hard to bend, ask God for help. He instituted marriage and wants YOURS to work too. God bless you.'
That's it! I don't know what her reply would be, though. However, husband; wife; single lady and everyone in fact (because you might need to tell others); please, draw lessons as it applies to you from this story. God bless you!
Sweetie, how are you today?'
'Please, call me by my name. Good day'
'Easy now...why are you being harsh? Am sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday, I was very busy. Interestingly,I missed you'
'Hmmmmm'
'I'm still on your case o, pretty lady. Please accede to my request now....abeg ('Pidgin english' for please). Where are you? I'd come for you-let's hook up, babe.
'No! Go and make your marriage work with the help of God. The marriage bed should remain undefiled. God hates adultery and He can make your marriage work if you are willing to make it work'
'Funmi darling, I'm not leaving my wife-I'm a believer and I won't do that; but I'm a man and I need to fulfill my manly desires. Its not solely about sex, if that's what you think. It is about good sex and also companionship the way I enjoy it'
'You know what? You are looking for solutions where they don't exist. If your wife can't satisfy you, who says I can? You just might end up jumping from woman to woman looking for what God can help work out in your wife.
If you are truly a believer and you love God, you'll want to please Him at the expense of your fleshy desires. Marriage is a life-long contract and you have to do all you can to make it work. However,I wish your wife had someone who could speak to her about the consequences of taking your needs for granted. Both of you can't be wrong, so be the right one'
'Funmi, now you are making me love you even more. You are so intelligent'
'Mr Lanre, please think about all I've said. The Lord would help you'
'Funmi, it's your help I want-there's a reason you came my way'
I was off!
I had made my decision. 'What God has joined together, let NO man put asunder (not Funmi, not anybody). If I acceded, I would be sinning against God and doing myself no good either. I'd be dating a married man for his money or for pleasure from an 'experienced' man (one of the deceits of married men to single ladies) and at the same time, dating a man I wish to marry (two-timing) and think God won't fight for 'my fiance' some day? Either he finds out and I lose in both ways or someone does same with my husband in future...to say the least. Lanre had to make a decision, but his wife was totally in the dark.
This is what I'd have told the wife if I could. Let me paint a scenario, just as I have been doing (modifying our conversation because I'm sure you realize I couldn't have gone to fish out my conversation with 'Lanre' from facebook, but I remember the entire idea of the conversation) *wide smiles*
'Hello. Is this Mr Lanre's wife?'
'Yes please. Who's speaking please?'
'Never mind. I'd like to speak to you about your husband. Ma, girls are not smiling ooo, they are looking for 'stray' men seriously. You know what the Bible says about seven women fighting over one man for attention? It's true ooo. If you are then lucky to have one man, you should keep him.
I'm not saying you need to do anything bizarre, but this man is your husband and you agreed to marry him, why then won't you keep him happy? While courting, you must have noticed some of his tendencies, yet you married him. If he wants romance, I don't think that's too difficult to give.
If you were a single old lady and a man's criterion for marrying you was romance, my sister-you'd jump at it; but because he's yours (you think he is) you take him for granted and use him to satisfy your financial needs among other needs, but refuse to satisfy his own needs. If he's not satisfying your needs either, communicate with him-let him know! 'A wise woman builds her home, a foolish one (NOT YOU O) pulls it down with her own hands'
I'm not justifying cheating, but even a born again christian gets tempted, let alone a man who is probably a struggling christian. My sister, wake up. Wear 'hot' clothing for him at home and 'scatter' his head (HE'S YOUR HUSBAND ke) Show him you are a lion in the bedroom, yet a lamb in church. Loosen up, come out of your shell; go out with him and if you don't like the places he chooses, you can suggest equally interesting places that you feel more comfortable visiting. See, let me tell you- your husband is attractive o, if not for Jesus- I'd have dated him. He probably has money too sef- which makes it better.
Please, keep your home. Listen to your husband's complaints please- they are not mere naggings o, they can produce bad fruits! If you are a naturally conservative/ shy/ quiet/ introverted person and it's hard to bend, ask God for help. He instituted marriage and wants YOURS to work too. God bless you.'
That's it! I don't know what her reply would be, though. However, husband; wife; single lady and everyone in fact (because you might need to tell others); please, draw lessons as it applies to you from this story. God bless you!
Twitter: @flow4fame
BBM: 2B2E5CB3
No comments:
Post a Comment